Third Trimester Slow Living: Pregnancy Rituals That Settle My Mind

Last week was Mother’s Day. My little family of three went on our first camping trip of the season and our last camping trip as a family of three. The idea that we’re not going camping again before my due date in early July makes me feel desperate and blue. Of course, we could fit one more in, make it work. But that’s not the vibe I want our last weeks to be about. I want to take things slow. Get what needs to get done, done. Enjoy the spring weather. Dream about the future. And honestly, leave space and time for my growing discomfort.

While I’m taking this time, my little rituals have become more and more important to me. They clear my head, make me feel ready to keep tackling the endless list of everyday to-dos, despite my stiff back and utterly distracted state of mind.

Ritual #1: Coffee in One Sitting

I get one cup of caffeinated beverage a day, and I make it count. I used to make my morning coffee last as long as possible. It would travel with me through the house. Into the bedroom while I changed my shirt. To the kitchen sink to load breakfast dishes into the dishwasher. Even out to the deck as I helped my kiddo pull on his mittens. But now, I have a policy. I sit and drink my coffee while it’s still hot. If something needs attending to during the ten minutes it takes to drink my allotted 95 milligrams of caffeine, my husband can see to it. He can have as many cups of coffee as he wants.

Ritual #2: Lunch Walk

My morning dog walk is an obligation. As soon as I return from Preschool drop-off, I’m met with an eager pooch who’s ready to go as far as I’ll take her. My lunchtime walk, taken from my job at a downtown storefront, is my own choice. My husband usually stops by for lunch, walking here from his office, a quarter mile away. I usually walk him halfway back, and we use that talk over the less pressing matters at hand: baby names, cities in Spain that we’d like to visit, and cool houses for sale in town that we can’t afford. Simple things that make it easier for us to connect without the distractions that a household and a toddler are so adept at offering up. This pregnancy ritual functions like a ten-minute vacation that helps us reconnect during this overwhelming time.

Ritual #3: My Afterwork Nap

I’m lucky that I’m able to indulge in this practice, and so I’m rather religious about it. I have about two hours after work to get home stuff completed. The list is endless. BUT I work best when every bone in my body doesn’t want to get horizontal as soon as possible. When I’m well-rested, I’m less likely to find myself doom-scrolling. So, as soon as I greet the dog and hang up my coat, I head upstairs, put on a 20-minute timer, and go to bed.

In those 20 minutes, I’m not allowed to look at my phone or even give up on my nap. I close my eyes like a preschooler, and I wait. Usually, it feels like my timer goes off seconds after my head hits the pillow. Then, I typically jump up and get to what needs getting to. Usually. First and third trimester grogginess can definitely be convincing when it comes to ignoring the timer.

Ritual #4: Stepping Out After Sunset

The lunchbox is packed. The kid is asleep. The sky is a lovely lavender gray, and the temperature is dropping. I love to step out of the house just after sunset and take a breath. I stretch on the deck, wander the yard, water the plants, and check on the rain barrels. Sometimes I just stare at the sky for a minute or two. Since it’s been warm out, I’ve been ramping up this ritual. This small moment in the cool night air calms me in a way that a face mask and a bubble bath never could.

Ritual #5: Tea Time

Ok, this is a little aspirational, but this ritual was going strong this winter. After buying a vintage teapot from the seventies, my husband and I were regularily enjoying a pot of tea after the day’s responsibilities were through. It was like having a cocktail but with more ceremony. We filled the teapot with hot water and each chose a tea from our nifty tea bag box, filling each other’s cups until the teapot was empty. It made our many nights in seem, well, ritualistic. Now that I’m in my third trimester, it’s time to start drinking raspberry leaf tea. I think we’ll have to bring this lovely little pregnancy ritual back again.

Bristling At Ritual

Part of me bristles when it comes to talking about self-care or rituals. I don’t like the way we feel pressured to do these extra steps to take care of our mental health in this time of social media buzzwords. But after I decided to write this post, it was nice to take a look at my life and realize that I do have things that I do that could be filed under self-care. I just haven’t thought of them as rituals before.

So, if you’re reading this and you find yourself bristling. I’ve been there. Maybe you don’t have the time to take a nap. Maybe the idea of stepping out after dark zaps the energy out of your cozy routine. That’s fine. The idea that I’d like readers to take away from this piece is that we all have things that we do for ourselves at different stages in our lives. They might not be pregnancy rituals. Maybe they’re creativity rituals. Or rituals that make you feel free. Or yes, healthy and beautiful. You decide what it is and why you’re doing it. And when you do, feel free to let me know. I promise, I won’t bristle.